It is not a secret that an infertility diagnosis is a critical point in our lives, for a couple’s relationship and for us individually.
Despite is a universal health problem, this experience is lived very personally, up to the point of feeling alone (“why is this happening to me?”) and that the rest of the world cannot understand what we are going through.
That is why infertility is hided: we may feel guilty, we do not know how to face the diagnosis, we worry about what other individuals are going to think about us… Many infertile people choose to hide the diagnosis and the treatment. However, the support of the dear ones can be essential to relieve the consequences of stress.
The first step
The first step is choosing the people we are going to tell. In the case of a couple, we should agree it depending on their personal circumstances: Should we tell your parents? Mine? Both? Siblings? Friends? At work? The objective is to count on their emotional or practical support, but also to prevent them from feeling upset and, most important, to avoid any kind of prejudices and blames.
Therefore, once we have decided who are we going to tell, we will do it in the clearest way possible, avoiding worsening the situation and emphasizing that it is already being resolved (or it will be soon). The next thing we should tell them is what we expect from them: their help, an emotional support, a chat, an entertainment or their help to schedule our work timetable. Telling other people is a way of acquiring a different point of view because our partner is a biased person and sometimes we may have a mental block and be unable to see the solutions that the problem has.
Many people express their fear of being continuously asked about it if they tell anyone, and feeling pressured can cause an additional stress. We cannot forget that we are the owners of the information. It is important to remember that we manage the information and our emotions, if we want to express them or not. We are free to reveal what is happening to us how we want and as much as we want. Sometimes, it can be hard to be continuously asked. Therefore, we will thank people for their support and explain them that they do not have to feel bad if we do not feel like telling them everything regarding this topic. Remember that your relationship is based on love and trust.
The external support is good
Do not be afraid of opening ourselves to other people. We do not have to feel ashamed and the external support will help us a lot. There is not a minimum number of people that you should tell, but professionals recommend that you count on, at least, one person close to you or the couple in order to be able to express all of our emotions and worries and have an objective point of view and a shoulder to cry on.